(Proverbs 13:1) A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.
(Proverbs 13:24) He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
So these two verse stand out to me this morning. How important and necessary the Father’s instructions; the father’s love and chastisement. And we learn, of course, from our heavenly Father. My understanding of chastisement was always one of punishment. But our dearest and kind heavenly Father has taught me better. The patience and long-suffering of the Father is unmatched and unrelenting. His love has no bounds and is ever pressing toward us. Chastisement, I’ve come to understand, is development and learning. Punish is no doubt a meaning of the word, but so is correction, admonish, train, discipline, and instruct. And in the light of (Proverbs 12:11) He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with bread, how is that pumpkin patch of children doing?
Instruction?
I’m just gonna be plain. How are you going to teach your kid anything if you don’t know anything? I picked up a book years ago, Talent is Overrated. It talk about how most people, in their profession, will excel for the first few years, but then will plateau, and then actually regress. They’ll get worst. I’m finding this to be true in many things. When is the last time you learned something new? When is the last time you taught yourself something new? People don’t like to change and people don’t like to learn. It’s hard work. How much thought have we given to instructing our children? How much planning have we done? How much preparation have we done for instruction? I learned this when I was sixteen years old. Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail. I haven’t been good at heeding that advise. But twenty-seven years later, I see the need and I’m wanting to implement that more and more; especially in the matter of father’s instruction. Also, the bible says that a wise son heareth his father’s instructions. What words of instruction do we give our children? What areas are we instructing them in? What areas are we diligently trying to instruct them in?
The Rod?
I know a lot of people like to talk about the rod of discipline; one used to inflict a little pain in order to teach a child something. I understand. But what comes to mind is another rod of discipline. (Psalm 23:4) Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. David has no fear of evil. He’s learned to trust God. He’s learned to stay close to God. It was a rod of familiarity, peace, and protection. Have we spared our children this rod? Sure I want my child to behave. But what does a child learn just walking along beside you? Through the valleys? Is he learning self-pity and fear and loneliness? That will definitely manifest itself in bad behavior and bad decisions. For thou art with me… I heard this many years ago. I believe it was from Brother Stinnet Ballew. Rules without a Relationship breed Rebellion. That is what the rod represents; the Father’s presence. I would much rather the rod bring comfort and allay fear, than to bring discomfort and strike fear. When they see the rod, do they run from you, or do they run to you? God help us. Jesus disciples were disciplined by Jesus. But he didn’t beat them over the head. They said to him (John 6:68) Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life. His discipline drew them to his side. For some of us, our only concept of discipline is limited to pain and yelling. But love produces obedience. The proverb says that a wise son heareth his father’s instructions, not feeleth.
Chastening?
When I hear the word chasten, I’m always reminded of (Isaiah 53:5) But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. Notice. He was wounded for… He was bruised for… The chastisement of… There’s a different relationship here. Everytime I heard this, quite honestly, I’ve always been baffled. What is the chastisement of our peace? The way the commentators explain is that the chastisement of our peace is the chastisement necessary to obtain peace with God. I have no reason to doubt that. But notice the significant relationship between chastisement and peace. Peace is the end to which chastisement strives. This reminds me of horse training again. Horses don’t learn from pressure, but the release of pressure. They are always looking for peace. Releasing pressure, or giving them peace, at the right time is what teaches them and trains them. It’s what disciplines them. It’s what ultimately causes them to obey us. Can this perhaps be a clue as to the chastisement of God? And maybe a lesson on how to chastise these children that we love.
Betimes?
The word betimes is translate from the hebrew word shachar (shaw-khar’) which means the following:
to dawn, i.e. (figuratively) be (up) early at any task (with the implication of earnestness); by extension, to search for (with painstaking)
I wanted to quote the whole definition. I always thought that betimes meant alot of times. And that is when I was ignorant and thought that spanking was all you had to do. I thought you had to just do it alot. But in light of (Proverbs 12:11) He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with bread, I like that definition be up early at any task… earnestness. As far as work is concerned, it’s always better to work smarter and not harder. I’m all for hard work, but I don’t care much for futile work. To be diligent is to seek and search for most effective way at accomplishing a task; to find a way that works. If one plan doesn’t work, then go back to the drawing board and come up with another one. I’ve got seven children and everyday it seems we have to go back to the drawing board. What worked for one doesn’t work for the other. What we thought would work, didn’t work. New problem? New issure? New plan. Roll up your sleeves and hammer it out.
Conclusion
(Proverbs 13:1) A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke. (Proverbs 13:24) He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Maybe I’m just getting old and soft. Or maybe it’s because I’ve learned better. Now learning better doesn’t mean doing better. We should be diligent to learn, but also diligent to do. My point in all this is that instruction requires preparation. For example, have you ever just sat down and wrote a brief outline maybe of the areas of your instruction that you want to give your children? What do you want them to know? A teacher does not go into a classroom to instruct in a subject unless he has diligently and studiously prepared himself to lecture on the subject. (That is if he has a conscience) Don’t be satisfied. (Proverbs 22:6) Train up a child in the way he should go!